Five Conversations You MUST Have With Your Daughter

I just finished reading a wonderful book about moms and daughters! If ever there was a book that made me want to be a better mom who is more secure in her own skin, it's this one. If I've ever read a book that makes me want to de-bunk all the "bunk" my daughter is going to see and hear and be prepared for the trials that my daughter is going to endure living in a fallen world, it's this one. All the things I am concerned for on my daughter's behalf is in this book. I appreciated the author's candor, her ability to admit that she doesn't have all the answers, and her humility in confessing her short-comings.

What this book doesn't say is that there is one way and it's the only right way to raise your daughter and it's in her book. It doesn't say that if you do "a+b+c" that you will always end up with "d." It doesn't come across preachy or condescending.

What it does say is that in all our failings, there is a God who is greater. That with all the negative statistics, there is hope. That the world lies to our daughters (even more than it lied to us) and that there is Biblical wisdom that combats those lies. That your daughter is more than the sum of her parts. That sex outside of marriage IS detrimental to the whole of you...emotionally and physically. That, as our daughter's moms, our opinions DO matter to them. That God did give us years to grow up for a reason! Don't rush it! (And how you can protect your daughter against the "I'm five going on fifteen" mentality and appearance.) That dreaming and desiring to be a wife and a mom is a good, Godly dream! And that it's easy to be "easy" but hard to be virtuous (but there are still kids who are doing this!)

(You can't really look inside this book from here...but I snagged the picture from Amazon and you CAN look inside it there!)

I know, for me, I have to constantly check myself. Am I showing my daughter what a good mom does? Am I being a good example of grace and mercy? Am I lovingly disciplining or being angry? Do I protect her from too much (because yes, it's possible!) or am I allowing her to experience age-appropriate mishaps for learning and reproof? Do I love her enough to change the stuff I don't like about myself so that she doesn't have the same "stuff" to deal with?  Do I love and appreciate the person that God made me, inside and out, so that when my daughter is my age, she has a better love and appreciation for how God made her, inside and out?

Do I take every opportunity I can to make it a teachable moment? Even things that I don't necessarily want my daughter know...she's going to find out. I try to teach my kids things before the world does.  I've found with many things...whether it's truth of the Lord or something like Santa Claus, if I get to them first with the information, I've won the first battle.  Do I do a good job of that?  I bet I could do a better job.

Yes, there are statistics. And some are staggering. Some, I knew. Some, I didn't. All point to the fact that God's truth is truth and that His plans and designs for our daughters and their lives are more promising than anything the world has to offer. 

Thanks, Brooke! This was a great read for me! I owe ya! :)

Dig DEEPER

I've kind of joked around with Insanity and the encouraging words Shaun T. uses to keep you motivated.  It must work for me, though, because I am still doing it and still loving it.

My favorite phrase he says is, "Dig deeper!  You can freaking do this!"

Because, you know what?  I can.  I can poop out really fast, too.  It takes a whole lot less self-encouragement and arguing with my body to have it just sit on the couch instead.  But I know, at the end of the day, I'd be annoyed with myself. 

And then, I hear God whisper to me, "Dig deeper."  

And my first reaction is, "I will later, Lord.  I want to (fill in the blank) first."

And my day goes on with more things that come "first."

But lately, I've been getting up early because Hannah has given me a 6:30am wake up call to use the rest room.  "Mommy!!  I need to go peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!"  Thank you for that, Pretty.  So, I've taken the opportunity to read my Bible and start a journal again before the kids are awake.  And you know what?  I can freaking do this, too.  And I want to.  And I feel like something is missing when I haven't done it.  And He is faithful to whisper still, "Carrie, dig deeper."

The difference of starting my day with the Lord in unexplainable, except that His grace seems to be in abundance when I have tapped into Him. 

I have found what I call my "Sweet Spot" with the Lord.  My yellow chair flanked by two corner windows and a little table with a lamp on top for light. It's where I meet with Him in the morning and offer Him my day and all that is contained in it.  Because He already knows it.  Because He's already seen it, walked it, and graciously given me the day that He has made.

Oh God of mine, I’ll have no idols
Oh God of mine, come lead the way
Oh God of mine, I’m greatly humbled
This sinner’s heart You came to save
Oh God of mine through storm and trial
Oh God of mine through death and grave
Oh God of mine in resurrection
Your scars display my soul’s refrain
Oh God of mine Who holds all nations
Oh God of mine Who saves the day
Oh God of mine, Your grace sufficient
And tender mercies new by morn
Oh God of mine, forever faithful
Oh God of mine, forever stay
Oh God of mine, forever after
These eyes upon Your face will gaze

-Rita Springer


Have you found your "Sweet Spot" with God?

I Define God to My Kids

I have been washed, wrung, and hung out to dry with something that I was re-taught last night.

I DEFINE GOD TO MY KIDS.

Yesterday, we were at Michael's and I accidentally broke a picture frame. Noah knows that they are not allowed to touch things in the stores because they could break something and then I'd have to buy it and that's not how we want to spend our money, etc. So, when he saw me break the picture frame he said, "Oh no...you broke it Mom. Now you have to do the right things and buy it." Yes, I do and yes, I did. Thankfully, it was only $5.

I DEFINE GOD TO MY KIDS.

Last night at our Growing Kids God's Way class (yes, we are taking it again! Trust me, we need it!), we were reminded that Christianity is not a religion of mediocrity. This is HUGE! We are to do things and do things as unto the Lord, and if you do something for the Lord, you naturally WANT to do it well. Christianity is NOT a religion of MEDIOCRITY. I was reminded of the idea of "good, better, and best." It is good that Noah wants to be a witness for the Lord. He could learn to do it better by speaking with more love. Eventually, he could be the best witness ever because he is unashamed of the gospel. I am a good mom. I could be better. For the sake of my kids, I want to be their best mom ever.

I DEFINE GOD TO MY KIDS.

Love is not RUDE. Be COURTEOUS to all men. Another thing I was reminded of, not just during our GKGW class, but also during my Precept study I did earlier that day. This was meant to be a reminder for us to teach our children good manners. Offer your seat to the elderly. Open the door for people (my boys are awesome at this). Honor age by offering them the first plate of food. All these things are done because love is not rude and God asks us to love our neighbor by being courteous to all men. The problem here for me...is that I am rude to my kids. Ouch. I hate to admit it, but it is true. I am sarcastic at times. I also act as if they are bothering me when they ask for something which is not very courteous. I have a bad habit of ignoring them when they call my name. How can I expect them to trust me in big things, like God and Jesus and His saving grace, if they can't trust me in the little things, like knowing I will answer when they call?

I DEFINE GOD TO MY KIDS.

And let's just be real here. I bake bread, make cookies, make granola bars, wash clothes, clean the house, work out, lead a Sunday School class, attend Bible studies, and make signs. People ask me how I do it. I don't. I am a figment of your imagination. I guarantee you the process of my daily grind is way less glamorous than you have it in your mind. You know what I keep thinking? What does all that matter if I have not love? Some days, I am so over-whelmed, I yell at my kids. I yell at my husband. I crash and burn into bed at 8:05pm because the kids have gone to bed at eight. Some days, I go all day without praying or reading the Bible. The hours between 4 and 8pm are the most daunting for our family. I'm trying to cook dinner while the kids are screaming that they are starving and I'm burning the bread, yet again. Dinner is a yard sale because the kids don't like what I fixed...and by that time, I'm exhausted with being nice and kind and not losing my mind that I make up for the whole day of "nice" Mommy with one explosion. Did I mention that my house is not clean?

I DEFINE GOD TO MY KIDS.

And we are here to define God to the world. My kids will one day define God to the world and the picture I want them to have of God begins with me.

I am in prayer for a young wife who is waiting for a double lung transplant. While talking to Nic about her, I have also been in awe of her mom who is as strong as ever in her faith, but also raised an amazing woman of God. What did she do? What was her secret? What can I learn from her? What do I know of her?

I know she was and is a woman of God. I know she was involved with her kids and their friend's parents. I know she practiced what she preached to her kids. I know she was constantly in prayer for them. I know she earned their respect, honor and trust. I know her children will praise her at the gates.

Will mine? That is my hearts desire, but I could certainly do better on the road to getting there because:

I DEFINE GOD TO MY KIDS.

Saw this, Loved this, Stole this

You ever read things that grab you by the heart because they were exactly what you needed to hear at the exact moment you needing to hear it? Yeah, me too. Found this on her blog and just had to re-post it.

THE PLACE WHERE I AM

1. By His Appointment

God brought me here. It is by His will that I am in this place.

In that I will rest.

2. In His Keeping

He will keep me here in His love and give me grace in this trial to live as His child.

3. Under His Training

He will make the trail a blessing, teaching me the lessons he intends me to learn and working in me the grace He means to bestow. It is more important for me to learn the lesson that I’m here to learn than to solve the problem.

4. For His Time

In His good time he can bring me out again. How and when He knows.

~Andrew Murray

Now sigh and give thanks to the Lord. That's what I did.

Prayers That Go Unanswered

Or that take a really looooooong time.

Do you thank God for them? Or do you say, "Come on! I really don't see how it can work unless I get it now!" or "It's about time, God!"

I'll be honest and say that I've uttered those words in complete irreverence to God, His sovereignty, and His timing. Frustration gets the best of all of us and I, in particular, am not known for having much patience. (Don't snicker! You know who you are!)

I could write a whole book on the prayers that went seemingly unanswered. Now I see they weren't unanswered. They were a "no." And thank God for the "no's" in my life. But like I said, that could be a whole book...let's focus.

Since looking for a house to move to and the blessings of that story, there have been a whole bunch more minor stories (if there is anything 'minor' about God working and blessings).

One of which, is our air conditioner. It has been broken pretty much all summer long. I know you all have heard me complain about it, so no more complaints. That is not what this post is about.

This is about the praises of our family lifted to God in prayer, rejoicing, and reverence of a God who sees all, knows all, and counts our hairs on our head...or, in our case, the sweat beads on our brow.

This is about a hard-working husband in a stable job.

This is about finding renters for our house.

This is about family nights and scriptures and putting the things we tell our kids they SHOULD do into practice so they can see it lived out.

This is about having a husband who is long-suffering and wise to wait on God to work on our behalf. And is willing to call the warranty company and politely complain every time I called him YELLING about how HOT I was. (Don't pay any attention to Mommy, kids!)

This is about me NOT picking up the phone and cursing at people who are not doing their job the day after I've spent three hours just lying in bed awake...sweating. Because that wouldn't be a good Christian witness. And because my husband told me not to. (Ok, you can look now.)

This is about the blessing of family. They offered their homes, their beds, their money, their food, their condolences. My parents let us stay with them and bought us a portable air conditioner that managed to keep the down-stairs actually livable! Kevin and Brooke...stayed at their house. ALL SIX OF US. And then she even made breakfast. My sister offered her house and was a sounding board and champion in my corner telling me how ticked she is FOR me and willing to call on my behalf. Cindy told me the same thing. Sometimes, that's all you need to hear from someone. My in-laws offered their house, their pool, their babysitting services....

This is about a God who made a way where we saw no way. This is about a God who blessed us abundantly with a house, and then blessed us again with things for our house. And then...again...in taking care of us while we are in the house.

This is about Noah having a school-teacher who goes to our church, taking away my last anxiety over putting him in public school this year.

This is about yard-saling and having a husband who watches our kids so I can spend his hard-earned money. (I told you he was long-suffering.) I'm really saving him money, you know. If I bought this stuff at a store it'd be way more expensive. So I spend five bucks to save $15. See????

This is about getting completely reimbursed for the portable air-conditioning unit when they originally said they would only pay $150.00 of the $440.00 it cost. God knew that the woman helping us was connected to us through a string of past circumstances with friends we've made along the way....we just found out. Today.

If I use my blog for anything, I hope it is to sing the praises of a God who cares, gives talents and blessings, and moves to turn the things Satan would intend for evil to good for the good of those who love Him. (Romans 8:28, Genesis 50:20) So be encouraged! Have patience and know that God is moving, right now, on your behalf.

Even though you don't deserve it. (Ouch. Isn't that always the part that makes you rethink what you think about God's love?)
Even though I don't deserve it.
We never will.

Aaahh...Grace. Aaahh...Mercy.

There are strings being pulled on the puppet that you can't see but...

...it's still making the puppet move.

I LOVE THIS PROJECT!

God taught me an invaluable lesson through it.
Alright, more than one.
Hey, I'm a teachable person.

Sometimes.

I had stalked (and when I say "stalk," I mean STALK!) a painting at Salvation Army for about a month. It is hu-uge. Like, 52" long and 2.5' wide. Yeah. Huge. Not that I liked the painting that was in it. Hello...you know me better than that! I was really stalking the frame that was around it. Pretty, scalloped corners...begging...BEGGING to be painted.

Oh, the painting was begging to be painted, too. Chalkboard style, baby!

So, I like I said. Stalked it. The price tag was $39.00. Hmm...yup...that would have to wait. I thought about it off and on for some weeks. Every time I'd go in there (don't judge...I only went in there about once a week...) it was still there. Untouched. I think inanimate objects talk to me. Seriously. Is that strange?

Well, lo and behold! Salvation Army was having a 50% off day! Woot! I was thinkin' that since I had thought about it and stalked it so much, that I'd spend $20 on it just for my sanity! And I figured my children would praise me at the heavenly gates since they had taken to saying, "This store AGAIN?" as I dragged them through the doors with a stern look.

So...here I go, right? Register rang it up for $9.00!! At this point, I'm thinking it's my lucky day and get started on it the very next day...

Bam! Boom! Done! Love it!



Even used my stenciling method to monogram it because, really, what DOESN'T get monogrammed at my house? Not much.

Looks...pretty huh?

And then...IT happened. Bam! Boom! Yeah...that's right.



It fell of the wall.

Oh the tears.
Naw...I didn't cry.
But I was close.

Especially when I remembered that I had spent time working on this instead of reading my son a book when he asked. And I thought of how it made me giddy...and then I thought of how temporal that giddiness is when compared with making my kiddos happy.

Now I'm not advocating dropping everything you need to do or even WANT to do for your kids. They definitely need to learn that the world doesn't revolve around them. BUT...would it have hurt me or this project to spend fifteen minutes reading a book? Nope. And since I happen to be kind of stingy with my time already....

Lesson number 1: This was a good reminder to me that the temporal things of this world, I can't take with me.

Lesson number 2: A reminder that God has given me what I have and has gifted me with the blessing of children. Even when I wanna rip my hair out and pull my head off my neck and shove it down the toilet just for some peace and quiet. Ahem.

Lesson number 3: Perspective, people. It was just a $9.00 picture and it was just a piece of decor in my house.

And ya know? It was salvageable. It's fixed and practically glued on the wall so it (hopefully) won't fall off again. I bet you wouldn't even notice if I didn't tell ya.

Yes, I still have those paint samples on the wall. Still deciding.

Hookin' up with Rhoda at Southern Hospitality! Yard sale treasures!
AND Melissa @ 320 Sycamore's A Week of Gift Ideas!