Thursday, April 21, 2011

Five Conversations You MUST Have With Your Daughter

I just finished reading a wonderful book about moms and daughters! If ever there was a book that made me want to be a better mom who is more secure in her own skin, it's this one. If I've ever read a book that makes me want to de-bunk all the "bunk" my daughter is going to see and hear and be prepared for the trials that my daughter is going to endure living in a fallen world, it's this one. All the things I am concerned for on my daughter's behalf is in this book. I appreciated the author's candor, her ability to admit that she doesn't have all the answers, and her humility in confessing her short-comings.

What this book doesn't say is that there is one way and it's the only right way to raise your daughter and it's in her book. It doesn't say that if you do "a+b+c" that you will always end up with "d." It doesn't come across preachy or condescending.

What it does say is that in all our failings, there is a God who is greater. That with all the negative statistics, there is hope. That the world lies to our daughters (even more than it lied to us) and that there is Biblical wisdom that combats those lies. That your daughter is more than the sum of her parts. That sex outside of marriage IS detrimental to the whole of you...emotionally and physically. That, as our daughter's moms, our opinions DO matter to them. That God did give us years to grow up for a reason! Don't rush it! (And how you can protect your daughter against the "I'm five going on fifteen" mentality and appearance.) That dreaming and desiring to be a wife and a mom is a good, Godly dream! And that it's easy to be "easy" but hard to be virtuous (but there are still kids who are doing this!)

(You can't really look inside this book from here...but I snagged the picture from Amazon and you CAN look inside it there!)

I know, for me, I have to constantly check myself. Am I showing my daughter what a good mom does? Am I being a good example of grace and mercy? Am I lovingly disciplining or being angry? Do I protect her from too much (because yes, it's possible!) or am I allowing her to experience age-appropriate mishaps for learning and reproof? Do I love her enough to change the stuff I don't like about myself so that she doesn't have the same "stuff" to deal with?  Do I love and appreciate the person that God made me, inside and out, so that when my daughter is my age, she has a better love and appreciation for how God made her, inside and out?

Do I take every opportunity I can to make it a teachable moment? Even things that I don't necessarily want my daughter know...she's going to find out. I try to teach my kids things before the world does.  I've found with many things...whether it's truth of the Lord or something like Santa Claus, if I get to them first with the information, I've won the first battle.  Do I do a good job of that?  I bet I could do a better job.

Yes, there are statistics. And some are staggering. Some, I knew. Some, I didn't. All point to the fact that God's truth is truth and that His plans and designs for our daughters and their lives are more promising than anything the world has to offer. 

Thanks, Brooke! This was a great read for me! I owe ya! :)


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